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Writer's pictureBellamente

The Selfish Artist: How much does it cost to love selflessly.

Updated: Apr 15, 2020

Before I put anyone else’s life and needs before my own, I have to understand that to neglect myself at this moment of growth would be abuse. I am in a growth spurt that cannot be ignored. And though my work and passion is to put others before me, it does not go past a certain point. I always have time to feed my mind and heart. What threatens this, are intimate relationships. Which can in their own ways propel my growth, but at a cost, and in a certain direction that entails including the other individual. Relationships drain me. They are also black holes of time, they are distractions. I ask myself if intimacy with someone else is what I really want.

I do, on the other hand, love creating memories and making something out of nothing. I love making love to my soul mate, Transporting through another universe. Unwinding my passion and feeling someone’s deepest desires. Saving the best for last, savoring every last moment like goodbye kisses. Loving someone truly and fully, helping someone become better.


But not at the cost of losing myself. Not at the cost of giving someone else all my time. Neglecting my skills, starving my intuition.






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